I'm a 26 year old dating mom of a 4 year old boy. Being the only parent, running a household, going to uni, working, having a social life, dating.. it's tough doing it all. I really want to do everything well, but to be honest: I'm a chaos addict. Organization is totally my weak spot. Of course, to prevent myself from going totally absolutely over the top boinkers, I have developed a good sense of humor.. mostly directed at myself. Anyway, it's my plan to chronicle my way to a better lifestyle here, to be a better mom, a better student, a better housekeeper.. thank goodness I'm a kickass girlfriend and a great friend.. ;)
I am a divorced mother of two, currently involved with a wonderful man who unfortunately lives entirely too far away from me. I have a lot of new things going on in my life right now. I'm going back to Uni after having been away from it for nearly 10 years, I'm starting a new job and I'm desperately trying to get all the threads in my life woven into a coherent whole. So that the lover, the mother, the housekeeper, the employee, and the dreamer all manage to become a whole person in the end. To that end, I'm hopeful that by sharing bits of my life in this blog, I can bring everything together.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
I've recently begun taking online classes from a college, becuase that is the only way I can fit education into my schedule while I'm working full time and trying to raise two little boys. The way it works is that I subscribe to these newsgroups in an e-mail client and post responses to discussion questions which the intructor poses. I'm responsible for reading the class material, and posting my assignments in my personal newsgroup, which only I and my instructor have access to. I've spent a week just reading people's responses, giving teh bare minimum responses I can get away with and still get credit for participating.
And then I started posting. I went crazy, replying to just about everyone, and then I posted this, in the chat newsgroup, to explain to everyone what I'd been doing:
I have something to admit to you all.
I'm a lurker. It's something I find myself doing whenever I'm new at some messageboard, whenever I'm contemplating joining some new web community... or in this case, when I'm just joining a newsgroup. I've found myself holding back this week, offering only the bare minimum of information in my Bio, posting only in response to our assignments and the DQ's. I read through every post that everyone else made, measuring you, trying to get a feel for how the dynamics of this group will work. I think I'm ready to jump into it. Tonight, I found myself finally replying to people. I think I'm ready to be part of this. I'm done lurking, and if my posting spree is any indicaton, I'm ready to participate.
I don't know why I'm so hesitant to jump in with both feet online. Maybe it's because you people can't see my friendly smile when I begin talking to you. That is what I use to disarm people I meet in real life, becuase I do have a mouth that can somethimes get me in trouble. This week I began a new job, and I'm involved in training classes. Our trainer had us do some of the usual "getting to know you" activities, and shared with us in the process that she had chipped a tooth pushing a shopping cart while working at a grocery store. She said "not everyone can say they chipped a tooth pushing a shopping cart." To which I immediately replied without thinking, "Most people push their shopping carts with their hands, not their mouths." It got a laugh, but it was the first day I was going to be around these people, and I thought "I'm going to get in so much trouble."
I hope I'm able to fit in well here, and that over the next while, I'll get to know most of you better. Sorry I've been so absent, but as I said... It's not that I wasn't here; it's that I was lurking.
So, I've been lurking there.. and I've been lurking here. Still trying to find a way to get my feet under me. But I think I've forgotten that when you're in the deep end, it's best to get your feet behind you and start swimming your way accross the pool.
Posted at Sunday, September 04, 2005 by Yo Momma
Friday, August 26, 2005
This weekend my son is with my parents.. which means it's PARTY TIME. Yippie. I'm sure I would be more excited if it wasn't for the fact that I couldn't sleep for the past few nights because of the job I just got! Yes, still totally excited.. but also, it's a real job and a real commitment, which will increase the amount of things I need to do in my life by 200% at least.
So I arranged insurance things and tax things and tonight I'll go eat at a friend's who is totally fond of cooking. I'll bring a bottle of white wine. After that we'll go out partying and then around 3-4 am I'm going to hook up with my boyfriend who'll be attending a birthday party in the meantime elsewhere and then we'll spend the weekend together.
Can you tell I'm already tired just writing about it?
Nuvaring update: crying, break through bleeding, pain in ovaries. If this isn't gone by 3 months.. it's bye bye nuvaring, hello condoms.
Posted at Friday, August 26, 2005 by MoMalicious
My son started school yesterday. I took him, and pulled along his little brother. We'd met his teacher the day before, and this was my chance to sit down and fill out the paperwork they'd need.
"Please fill out the white emergency evacuation card, and look over the blue student information sheet, and sign the release forms on pages 3, 5, and 10 and leave them on my desk."
My son was excited to see his friends from his Kindergarten class, and friends from church, and his friend who lives just upstairs from us all in his class. I like his teacher. She's an older woman so she's got a lot of experience with what she's doing, but I can tell by the way she talks to the children that she's not burnt out by it yet.
And I'm starting school. After nearly 10 years outside the higher education system, I'm goign to start classes on Monday. I'm nervous, I'm excited, but mostly I'm just relieved. I managed to find a very good job without having completed my education ~ side note: you should never, ever be DONE learning. I intend to keep learning things until I pass on ~ but then I was laid off and I find that even though I had a lot of experience with my last job, no one will hire me without the little peice of paper that tells them I spent four years at their institution. In a few years, I'll have that. Maybe then I'll finally feel like a grownup. All this time, even with two kids, even with a marriage... I've always felt like a little girl playing dress-up, playing house.
Posted at Friday, August 26, 2005 by Yo Momma
Thursday, August 25, 2005
I got the job.. and suddenly, my life is forever changed. It's like.. I wasn't even really looking for a job, and now I have one. It's.. wierd. And it's not just a good job, it's a great job. The people I'll be working with are amazing, the work I'll be doing seems to be just right for me.. And I'm just, blown away. They really liked me. I got to tell them when I wanted to start the job, how much I would be working, when I'd be working. I'll all of the sudden have two cell phones. I'll go to work 3 days a week. I'll earn money.. be able to take my son on vacation maybe? My life will consist of entirely new things.. and, I haven't even finished my degree yet. All of the sudden, I have a career. It's like.. wow.
Posted at Thursday, August 25, 2005 by MoMalicious
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
No matter what time I go to bed I tend to wake up way too early, way before my either my alarm clock or my son go off. State of the house.. messy. Well, should have done dishes and put away clothes. If I'd have done that, things would have been fine. I think.
Today I have a job interview. I have no real idea what kind of job I'll be applying for. Text writing in two languages. Considering the fact that I'm bilingual, and I can write, I should
be able to do it. The real reason I'm getting this opportunity is because this man owes my dad a favor and he's a sucker for taking care of kids. And then, I don't mean my son. But it's up to me to actually prove I'm what those L'Oreal commercials are about.. (ok, that was such an inane way to say that I'm "worth it". But like I said, I have morning insomnia; it's way too early for me, so give me a break, will ya?)
The job application is at 12.30pm, which means I'm lunch. The downside to my dad being the vehicle to this gig is that I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing. The last time I applied for a job I had no real clue about (but thanks to my own efforts.. so I guess it's not just when my daddy arranges stuff, I probably have a more overall cluelessness.. hmmm great) I went into a laughing fit because I didn't understand anything of what the guy was talking about. I got hired. Anyway, forget that trip down memory lane.. (dead end). What happened was this..
Guy that owes dad favor: "I need two text writers, one native ... and one native ...."
Dad: "You don't need two text writers, you need a bilingual text writer: my daughter."
Dad: *sends email to daughter with a CC to guy that owes dad favor with the content: contact him* And later on, on the phone: "just be you."
Great help, dad. Thankfully there was an email address, which belonged to a personal website.. which had a link to the site of the actual company I'd be applying to. And now I'm reading up on it. It always helps, being prepared at least somewhat. Cause since this time there'll also be a woman present, laughing fits are off.
So plan for the day: Take a shower, get dressed, get son from bed, make breakfast, take him to school.. and then.. alright, alright.. I admit it.. I'm a FLYbaby
. So I'm going to.. (painful pause).. bless my home
. I hate the graphics on that site.. and I hate the stupid lingo.. but I really really need help and it seems to be working at least somewhat.. Get off my back already! It's nice.. they're nice people.. even if they are a little obsessed with feather dusters.. Actually.. I could think of some nice things I could do with a feather duster.. hmm..
Uh.. yeah.. let's not go there. Ok.. so after I've done that fly-thing, I'm going to take the bus to the job application.. and see what happens. And somewhere along the line I'll read up more about the guy and the company. Ok.. sounds like a plan? Shower: here I come!
Posted at Wednesday, August 24, 2005 by MoMalicious
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
I've been on the Nuvaring
for a week now. Condoms are nice, but, they are not helpful when you want to have sex in the shower, over the sink, on the floor, against the wall, etc. And since my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months, have commited to being monogamous, have both tested negative for STDs, I figured.. eventhough I'm actually kind of against the whole neutering with hormones principle.. I'll do this for two years. Max. If I don't go absolutely crazy.
So.. so far.. sooooo not
good. The sex part, is really good. Don't get me wrong: I am loving that part of it. But, this weekend, I got pregnancy smell sensitivity. That means, I smell things that other people can't smell, cause it's out of their smelling range.. but I can smell it.. at 10 yards away.. and it makes me nauseous. Thankfully, that went away again. I think.. I hope. Another great perk to the whole thing is, that I can't get pregnant. It's like, wow my libido shot up and I want to have sex. Downside: not necessarily just with my boyfriend. It's like, a guy says something sexy to me and I want to jump his bones. This is not a good thing. Now, entirely contrary to that particular sensation, I really want to have a baby with my boyfriend. I want him to impregnate me, right here, right now...
Hormones.. yeah.. they are.. interesting little chemicals.. that make my mind do really weird stuff.
Thankfully, I have to go to the hair salon now.. where I cannot bed another man, nor make babies with my boyfriend. I hope that the storm will have passed long before it's Friday night/Saturday morning 3-4am, when I see my bf again.
Posted at Tuesday, August 23, 2005 by MoMalicious